Saturday, September 13, 2008

Ecoguilt

Interestingly enough, I have added *ecoguilt* to my repertoire.

I feel guilty when I forget my cloth shopping tote.
I feel guilty when I leave a light on.
I feel guilty when we drive somewhere out of the way to go to dinner (last night).
I feel guilty when I buy something with excess packaging.
I feel guilty when I turn on the clothes dryer.
I feel guilty when the cold water runs down the drain as I wait for the hot water to start.
I feel guilty because I use disposable diapers, when I really want to use cloth, but I just don't have the bandwidth to add one more chore to my overfull days.
I feel guilty about nearly everything these days.

I do so many things already to be a good steward of the earth...

I never litter.
I use mostly organic cleansers in my house.
We are 100% organic in our yards and gardens.
We limit just about everything in our lives to some degree in order to live a more sustainable lifestyle...and....

It's not a lot of fun sometimes...

To some degree, guilt is a good thing. It is that little voice in your head asking why you need to do this, or that. But lately, I've been feeling like *ecoguilt* has taken over my life.

Why can't I bike to work? Excuse.
Why can't I buy 100% local, organic whatever.... Excuse.
Why can't I cloth diaper? Excuse!
Why do I need to eat out tonight after I just finished a 14 hour day? Excuse!
Why can't I bake my own bread, or cook more veggies? Excuse!! Excuse!!
We insulated under our floors a couple of weeks ago and had to use the pink stuff because we couldn't afford denim. Guilt!
Etc etc etc etc ETC!!!!

I am starting to believe that there needs to be a healthy balance of ecominded choices and actually enjoying life. I'm running out of energy these days trying to keep up with my busy life AND my commitment to the environment.

We work hard and, I believe, deserve to reap the rewards of our labors.

I still want that flat panel TV for the living room. I haven't bought it yet, but I'm not certain that I still won't.

Why can't you have an HDTV *and* an outdoor solar shower?
Why can't you have a nice car *and* garden organically?
Do they cancel each other out? I don't know.

I ramble.

But you get the point.

Ecoguilt is threatening to take over my life and I am not sure I like it.

Edited to add the following - I guess I am just looking for a balance between living a reasonable life and the environment. That is all.

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